Postdoc-depression

Some weeks after my dissertation the daily question I had to answer was: How do you feel now? Any post doc-depression vibes? As a social constructionist (today) I feel that words have a power to make us into something, so the post doc-depression came. A sudden feeling of restlessness and so-what and hysterical thoughts that blur your mind...and then of course new opportunities you would like to try out...But of course your dissertation is like a premiere where you aim for some kind of confrontation or meeting in public and you're not able to hide behind closed door with your ideas anymore. That takes a lot of energy and you need to rest sometimes afterwards to get the creativity flowing again. There is also a certain responsibility to act like someone who is knowledgeable. And yes, of course, you know a lot about your subject. I know more about aging in combination with consumption but above all I have learned how to deal with the everlasting brain gymnastics that research is all about. Relating concepts to each other and defining them and knowing that when you read and learn more you feel like you know less. I call it the information anxiety as you know how much information there is that you can't handle. If I had lived in a small village with no connection globally I could have had another identity as a PhD than today in an ever connected global world where you have to be aware of so much more and feel your littleness. But in order to stop dwelling in some post doc swamp I have decided to be happy and not worry about the future and simply think that I am good enough. When I was little, three-years-old I liked to sing and I had learned a lot of hymns in the Sunday school. One Sunday I was in church and during the service I sang eagerly in some of the hymns I recognized and afterwards I cried "I was good" so the church walls echoed. This story was told by my mother and sister all over again during my childhood. I always felt a little embarrassed about this story as you're not supposed to be so self confident. But I would really love us all to be able to think more in this way and stop putting a damper on our feelings of joy and success.